Comparisons

By Anette Mäletjärv

One of the things that I noticed about myself in Kosovo, and which I would like to dedicate this blog entry to, is comparisons. 
 

Already during the first week of the course, when we were still in our classroom making presentations and learning about Kosovo, I could not help but constantly compare it to Estonia. One of the reasons being that both Estonia, my home country, and Kosovo are young democracies with a similar yet different history. Both are fairly small countries, where everybody tends to know everybody. Estonia was part of the Soviet Union; Kosovo was part of Yugoslavia. Estonia peacefully restored its independence in 1991. Kosovo first declared its independence in 1991, but things went differently in the Western Balkans, and after a decade of wars and ethnic cleansings, Kosovo as a current state declared independence in 2008, but is still not recognized by 5 EU member states. In Estonia, there is still quite some Russophobia due to the history of Russian occupation and the Soviet Union. In Kosovo, there are still tensions between Albanians and Serbians, which are more complex. Keeping those similarities and differences in mind, I felt that going to Kosovo, to an Eastern European country, is like “going to my hood”. Even though the Balkans are very different from the Baltics. 

But still, I felt personally offended every time somebody would make a comment about “ugly soviety block buildings” or about “poor, poor Eastern Europeans”. Both in class, as well as in meetings in Kosovo, I kept asking myself “how would I feel, when 20 students from Amsterdam would come to Estonia and start asking such questions about my identity and country?” On the one hand, I noticed that Kosovars truly live up to their reputation of hospitality and friendliness. Many of the people we met, seemed to be happy that a course had decided to focus on Kosovo, as they did not expect people to be interested in their small country or even know about its existence. On the other hand, I mostly used this question to be as sensitive as possible during meetings with grassroots organizations, local NGOs and students. Because I would not feel comfortable when a bunch of Western students would come to Estonia and would start asking inappropriate or ignorant questions or even worse, start teaching me about my own country or how things should be done better.

Furthermore, through constantly comparing Kosovo to Estonia, I just felt more comfortable asking sensitive questions. I felt that if during different conversations and interviews I also brought in my experience from Estonia, it was rather exchanging experiences and learning from each other, instead of me “studying” about Kosovo or squeezing stories out of Kosovars for a class. Mostly was it useful when conducting my project. 

As I have always been interested in LGBT+ rights and how the situation is for LGBT+ people in different countries, I naturally chose the project to be about LGBT+ rights, identities and culture in Kosovo. And once again, I by default kept comparing it to my home country. In both countries, on paper the legislation might look good, but the real situation regarding the overall mentality of the population and the reality of LGBT-phobia is something different. However, as LGBT+ issues still seemed to be a topic that is not discussed in Kosovo, both on individual and state levels, me and my project partner failed to make any generalizations, as the situation is complex and we only had 10 days there. 

However, it was very inspiring to meet Lendi from Cel, one of Kosovo’s LGBT+ organizations. It seemed to me that most local NGOs in Kosovo, often had a lot of young people working there and in general that the youth of Kosovo was way more involved in their country, interested in politics and engaged in activism than I have encountered in Estonia. Witnessing this kind of passion for improving the situation in one’s country, as well as learning about the struggles and motivation of the young Kosovars who are working on human rights was something that definitely gave me more motivation to continue my own activism. 

And I guess that’s something I will take with me from Kosovo. I definitely learned to appreciate once again the “best” similarities that Kosovars have with Estonians, such as a great sense of what I call “Eastern European humour” (oh how have I missed this kind of dark humour and sarcasm, no offense, Dutchies), a certain no-bullshit attitude, brutal honesty and a necessary dose of skepticism/realism. But what I hope to adapt are the best characteristics of the Kosovars that I met, that as an Estonian I feel like I have been not blessed with by nature: the hospitality, the friendliness, the generosity (if somebody offers you a cigarette in Kosovo and you say no because you have your own, then it is considered an insult). Of course, it is impossible to make overgeneralizations about the whole population and I do not want to essentialize Estonians and Kosovars based on some specific things or based on the types of people I met. However, one of the things I noticed about the Kosovars in Pristina that I met was the lack of complaining and whining they did, and how in conversations they rather tried to be positive and to focus on positive things, but not in a naïve or oblivious way. And that’s something I wish all Estonians would learn.

Last comparison that I kept making in Kosovo, is this same realization that in comparison to some Kosovars, I personally do not really have a lot to complain about. I’m not going to pretend that visiting Kosovo was the first time I realized how privileged I am. I think that it is also possible to educate yourself about your privileges through reading about people’s experiences and you don’t have to travel to a different country for that. Nevertheless, hearing about different issues in Kosovo was still a needed reminder that I should be more grateful for what I have. Especially after 3 years at AUC, where I kept jokingly referring to myself as “the proletariat”, as I had to work next to my studies and the majority of my course mates seemed to have a way better financial situation. Every time I go back to Estonia, I remember that even though at AUC I do not feel that privileged in comparison to my course mates, within the context of Estonia, I am. And even though I cannot travel as much or to the same far-away destinations as my course mates at AUC, after hearing from Kosovars that they cannot travel at all, because visa liberalization is STILL being held back by other European countries, I was again reminded of my privileges. Yes, I had to work next to my studies. In Kosovo, the unemployment rate is 31.4% and many young people simply cannot work.

Just something to think about. And hopefully also to act upon. As I mentioned in my previous blog post, we, AUC students, parents of students, teachers etc. can do our best to dismantle negative prejudices and stereotypes about Kosovo. What we can also do is learn how to be sensitive about different communities, about which we are only learning and we should not lecture them about their own identities or issues. And we should acknowledge and keep in mind our privileges.

Thank you for reading. Anette out.